I don’t know how I live with this regret
Maybe if I wish to forget instead of to reset
I might find peace in the depths of my upset
Always I have struggled dreaming of what I should get
One of the saddest who has seen the happiest in her life
Propelling to the top of the food chain
And downgraded some time after
Feathers and treasures bend through the light
All the lies that someone sent
Swept under the carpet
But never forgotten
The weight pressing on my lungs
Expressing the essence that leaves me lush
Waiting, and waiting for a never
Stopping and starting forever
Glance at the light, I’m never in the dark
Was I supposed to share that part
A lot has kept me apart
From the social start
I’m not lonely in the way you think
I’m lonely in the way because not many understand
But do you understand?
Oceans made from the tears you wept
Cutting edge back through the nights I slept
Am I in your debt or are you in mine?
Maybe if I never knew I’d be fine
But I want to know, I want to know what’s true
Ultimately can I believe in you
Because I’m unsure if your words are true
I can’t withstand the extent of my long lost thought
Nail it down like a treasure begging to be kept
I’m trending on the sentiment of my mind
Cross roading through the fast thoughts
Blinking, breathing deep
I can’t watch you weep, and I cannot sleep
I opened my eyes to be greeted with lies
Injected with insincerity, my heart cries
As my brain tries to float away
Emptying into oblivion
Painstaking undo this tracking
I’m bombarded by avalanches
Thoughts confused with fiction
Or is it words whispered in lies
Have mercy on me
I did not know firstly
And secondly I’m broken
A temper framed like a time bomb
Desperately waiting, dreaming for the shit to hit the fan
I’m still trying not to be weak
Being the opposite of what they seek
Everlasting breath
moves through the millennium
Broken hearts surround where it starts
But nothing can control those parts
Your tentacles left me in shambles
Tightening around me
Breaking me apart
I should of known from the start
That you would break my heart
Your voice it rambles inside my head
But Maybe I should break free instead
I think constantly, going over and over in my head. Pressure building to expand. No one’s giving in, am I believing the truth or is my mind lying to me. Only one can say.
Bloomed as I became doomed
My minds racing like it’s vroomed
Can I handle what I asked for?
My heads about to explode
Dressed and begging to implode
Let honesty breathe, and decency leave
Doomsday gloom on a dusty figurine
Record runs wild looping uncontrolled
Singing aimlessly into the air
Making my skin ride bare
Favouring the instant heartache
Dreaming of a lasting blood bank
The devil plays a horrid prank
Dividing me into an alluring pain
Nothing seems seamless
Nothing feels needless
But something craves loveless
I see you in my dreams,
My hair flows like streams,
Lonely as such it seems,
My heart bursts and steams,
Grown so far from our teens,
Desperate to wipe out my screens,
I like how my heart beams,
Are you sure you know what that means?
It’s frosty in the fog of my mind, clouds bruise against my skull. Looking blankly at the wall, judging time wrong. Beckoning for a reason to survive. The depression is like poison in my veins, which makes me dangerously poisonous. Sometimes it’s best for others to stay away.
Basking on your thrown of lies, terrible brutal cries cemented in a fellow heart. Mine breaks for hers.
I see your face, it’s so out of place
Like a Picasso, dented and fragmented
But the colour is so intense, and it just doesn’t make sense.
There’s just something in the way you overrate me, things that maybe I don’t live up to, but it makes me smile. Every pattern draws into oblivion – the past, and into the future. Most of my words go unspoken, because honestly, I’m unsure of myself. I’m desperate to find a truth in a delusion, everything could just pass as coincidental. The messages that I feel are sent to me may not be a message for me, maybe it’s just fiction my mind wrote.
A crowded path as a lonely craft, stationed for impact. There’s no way I’m coming out intact, desperate for contact. My mind burrows oh so far within itself. I wonder through myself to find my lonely path. Only to be transformed into a bottomless craft destined for impact.
Take a step back, and deny the truth
Desperate for the proof
Opening my eyes to my unseen youth
Poison buries my body into an unrelenting shape
Taking every precaution to escape
Coming out with nothing but a scrape
Underlining every word that could be truth
Always looking for some sort of proof
Reminiscing on my youth
Bending so unruly out of shape
Desperate for any kind of escape
All that’s left is this awful scrape
Give me clarity in this serenity
My self control makes me lose control
Instinct overrides logic
My heart is made of glass and as it slides through my fingers it shatters on the concrete
The glass cuts my feet as I try to put the pieces back together.
But maybe it’s too late…
My brain runs wild with every scent of what’s meant to be. My heart breaks for my past, living in the lonely state that never gets better. Sometimes I wonder if I did one thing differently, would everything change. I relive the past over, and over – contemplating my choices. Choices that may have been for the best, but fill me with pain.
Torching the path through my mind, taking my time. Breathing every breath as if it’s my last. Entering the Time Machine to my past. Everything moves so fast. Unlocked memories, and unboned rarities – nothing can become unstuck, especially our past.
I feel the moonlight gazing through my window
I don’t see it, but I know it’s there
And I know that means it’s the dark time of day.
Singing the sad song that’s stuck in my head
I Lay straight, and untouched in my bed.
My breath is simmering in a lonely way,
I begin Dreaming of a sunshine day.
Maybe one day I’ll be free, I’ll be me
Someone I’m still yet to find
But I do know I’ll always be kind
Thoughts flow by slow, then thoughts fly by fast
Emptying everything I have into the vast awareness
My mind seems to lean towards the depress
But I know I’ll always be kind
Am I insane, or does it say my name. Listening cautiously, interestingly my attention is drawn. Love to be sworn, stung by a snake. A liars path did you take? Or am I just insane, the pattern remains. Going in circles, waiting for the proof.
Never, ever would I think I’d forget.
Forgive, sure…But forget, no.
I’m wandering through a forest in my mind
Blinking softly as I move through the trees
No one can stop me from reliving my past mistakes
Nothing can ease the pain of these regrets
The weight is almost to much to bare
Taking every step like maybe you’ll still care
I was never the one who was able to share
Reminiscing on the revenge in your glare
I’ve never been so paralysed here in paradise
Gloomy storms begin to brew through my mind
Paradise feels now so far away
Trembling for peace, I begin to decease
Sunshine on a blue day
Feels so weird to say
Everyone’s got their way
I’d beg you just to stay
My skin begins to Fray
My mind decides to play
Everyone seems to betray
Ready for take-off, but my wings are broken
Taking each step slowly so I don’t fall
Never have I been as taken as now
I wish I could take your hand, and it will all be okay
I wish things could be different,
Maybe in another life, or another time.
Afternoons slip into mornings and the air feels so calm as your breathing it in, just to say what will come of today?
And a grey cloud hovers above my head, rain empties from the cloud making the tears rolling down my face less obvious.
And then morning slips into afternoon.
What’s left in the unsaid
Dampening beneath my breath
Always frozen, always burning
Never ending turning,
taken by a stream of tears
Lost beneath the current
Eliminating me, I’m drowning
I’d transport my thoughts if I could
I’d send them to a place,
Where bad thoughts don’t hurt
Waking only to find I’m lost
Trembling in the way I tossed
No one feels my emotion
Going through the motions
Never ending taking place
Taking breath in every case
Solitary blames my only way
Begging for you just to say
Whistle in the moonlight
A song sleepless in the night
Forever chasing you
Forever losing you
Long lost on an empty frost
At what cost will I become tossed
In the recycling, I am recycled
Sliding, scraping away
Deafened by the sound my heart decides to be its prey.
Cracking under the pressure, no hope to measure
I blink once, then twice – but there’s nothing nice about it
Nothing compares, nothing ever declares
I’m Frozen in a bucket of tears
Peeling in poison
Breaking my back to understand what’s wrong with me.
There’s not even a tiny glimmer of hope
I’m just lonely in my quest to live
Broken, but you can’t tell by my appearance
I look like I’m all together
It affects me like brain damage
I’m Fighting A polluted mind
Desperate for answers
I cower in the corner
Seeking peace would come more effortlessly
Shaded from the sun, blinded before it began
I’m just hopelessly waiting
Taking my last breath to a leaping depth
I never felt so tense, nothing makes sense
Traveling to another place, showered in lace
Fragments of death upon the theft
Nothing feels right, my chest breathes so tight
Everything takes shape, but never feels straight
You lend a helping hand,
from beneath the liars chair that you stand
Take my hand, and we’ll break free from this land
Beautiful seascape storm
Centred around my base
Categorised by form
An Internal left out space
Crying in the bathtub
Dreaming of my death
A craving I yearn for,
But not yet want
Loosely divulging into my spiral
A ghost lost but unprepared to aspire
With each sallow I took the chance
But ended up regretting my choice
Yet that yearning still haunts me
Day in, and day out
An outcast fighting for true belonging
How did I make it here,
So far away from you?
How did I lose so much?
Breathing battered breaths,
From longing depths
Nothing seems to drain my mess
Begging to eliminate my stress
Why do I favour contempt?
Why can’t I see myself different?
Always confused, in a deadly doom.
Maybe tomorrow will change
