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I’m gonna fall apart before I ever get the part where you say you care. You have to stare, glaring at the empty chairs – A systematic sinister snapshot berating us with its existence.
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Secrets signed with pencil
I’ve still got damage from the image of you kissing her
My signature can easily be erased
My pockets are filled with scepticism
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Love to end in tragedy, isn’t it oh so romantic. Oh no, but it’s supposed to be all okay with you. Every fad and curse to start with emptiness, isn’t it a tragedy you’ll say, Everything is lost on me. I do listen to your words and rhymes, even though I misunderstood.
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Each to their own, I won’t try to confide in someone so blind. Tragedy seep through a world where I struggle to understand the fundamental ingredient to undo my regret. Not much could hold my attention but not much could break my attention. Though things are only in my head.
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Too long to wait, the wait is endless. The pavement leaves me speechless. Just for a moment maybe I thought I wasn’t crazy, but I probably am. Aw well not much I can do to inform you now.
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Droplets seep into the skin below your eyes, sorrow awakens and begs us to surrender. Solemnly swear to my broken back and shoulders left bare, that I will try to move today.
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Sunshine gloom. Tears in fearsome eyes. Colours of all shades, glowing in this game charade. Sometimes I can see more than what’s beyond me.
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A fairytale ending is no ending at all, maybe if we stall. We’ll make it to the ball before we fall, deeper and deeper. But no, i’m just a creeper. Getting steeper, and steeper. Getting deeper, and deeper.
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Yeah, I’ll be up all night, but that doesn’t bother me. I talk to the birds, say hello, say goodbye. Never thought I’d be a fool, but maybe I’m a fool for you, Just for today. Tell me a story, I’ll listen I promise.We drive by, I always look because sometimes your name is there.
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— The Cure ‘Pictures of You’
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I never changed my mind, circles, go round and round. Too stubborn to influence, intuition is often confused. Why live your life wondering if you don’t have to. I don’t understand why I have to live my life wondering. Acting natural in front of you, something a rather. Maybe something lucky will happen. It’s amazing how many stories go round and round my head.
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Trusted in the fate of the fear. Gutted, inspired by the interference. Fragrance stepped out through the smell of my nose, stolen senses break on the freaking of my mind. My mind doesn’t care for insight.
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Staring blankly at a fragmented ceiling, my heart screams from within me, nothing can console my rotten bones. So I lie here and stare at the fragments above me, and dream.
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I’m resistant, consistent, relinquishing my thought. Not stable, the table collapses. Pointed…sharp…edged…soul crushing…death defying…
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Sweet how your words sink
Down the drain Into my heart
Should of known from the start
That when it comes to a depart
You will not be my missing link
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When I find out I wasted all this time planning the perfect crime, it’s fine, everything can roll over me like the car tires that scatter the gravel on the road. Should we believe everything we’re told, not sure, probably not. It seems to smother me, but at the same time, I love it.
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I’m too tired to keep up with my hope, it’s exhausting. I’ve been waiting for you to show me what’s been taking so long to complete.
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I’ll pretend I’m not one of habit when my habits are causing me detriment. I’ll stay awake and crash the next night, and sleep enough for two days. It’s not that I’m bad, well not too bad anyways, I just get lost sometimes.
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I bet you feel the cold oh so easily. Can you focus, or do you lose attention oh so easily. Does it feel the same, or can you forget oh so easily. I don’t know if to hold you dearly, or to let you go oh so easily. I keep searching but the answers don’t come so easily.
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Sometimes I stare at the sky to find a cloud that speaks to me loud. Wondering through the faces, leaving steep traces. People are watching, people are reading the thoughts that read through the spaces of my mind. I don’t want to do normal people things, they say I have no motivation, yeah I guess that’s true. I wish I could just be left to simmer and wait till this life is done.
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It’s better to be gutless, guts get you hurt.
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I sometimes google what you mean. The results of my analysis of the words prove to send me more confused. I over think things, and people may not read this but I don’t want things to be unpleasant between me and you. I’m confused, I’m always looking for answers, but I’m worried I’m looking where there isn’t any, but maybe no message is a message.
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I feel butterflies in my stomach sink, I see butterflies in hot pink.
It’s just a cheap trick, fluttering till I’m sick.
How am I surviving on such bad instinct ?
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Forever is a really long time, to feel as though you’ve committed a crime.
I never think before I relinquish my pain. It always leaves a stain on you.
I keep reminding myself it’s all in my head, because it’s just easier that way.
Like how I hear people chatting in my ears, or how I see images on the walls.
It’s not real.
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I worry I’ll see someone’s reflection behind me in the window. I made a wish as I blew out the candles, I have a feeling my wish came true.
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Different is good
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Remembering you, fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white, so delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering you, how you used to be -
You’re just trying to rekindle the looks of your youth. I don’t want to obsess over things I don’t have time for. Watching the sea crush the sand, we need another plan.
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All my visions, they just appear. Dripping along the typed paragraph, all my expectations disappear. Seeping through the skin, the scars reappear. Making it so damningly clear, that there’s so obviously still fear.
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It’d be nice if you could just have a little bit of mania, but it doesn’t work that way, it always escalates. Stay on your mood stabilisers!!
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Wish I could ditch the mood stabilisers, but keep the antidepressants…just for a little bit till my mood lifts.
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You runaway. It’s never gonna matter, because you’re never gonna forget her. They say everything happens different through the seasons. All your dreams revolve around, all your fears crash around. So slow, I look for silver rings, hoping I don’t find any. But one day I will.
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You can’t pin me and try to preserve me like those butterflies locked in a frame
– Butterfly
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And I’m like I give up, a glimpse, a fool. I’m lost within, I have no control over myself. My tears roll, my voice yells. A prank forgotten about. No desire left in my doubt.
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And I’m ashamed of running away
From nothing real
I just can’t deal with this
I’m still afraid to be thereAmong the hounds of love
And feel your arms surround me
I’ve always been a coward
And never know what’s good for me
Oh, here I go, don’t let me go
Schizoreflective 