








Yeah, Iโll be up all night, but that doesnโt bother me. I talk to the birds, say hello, say goodbye. Never thought Iโd be a fool, but maybe Iโm a fool for you, Just for today. Tell me a story, Iโll listen I promise.We drive by, I always look because sometimes your name is there.ย









































Smiling as if Iโm not sad at all



I didnโt want that to be documented.
I know I’ve made mistakes



Iโm frightened, being alone with all my thoughts.











I never changed my mind, circles, go round and round. Too stubborn to influence, intuition is often confused. Why live your life wondering if you donโt have to. I donโt understand why I have to live my life wondering. Acting natural in front of you, something a rather. Maybe something lucky will happen. Itโs amazing how many stories go round and round my head.




Trusted in the fate of the fear. Gutted, inspired by the interference. Fragrance stepped out through the smell of my nose, stolen senses break on the freaking of my mind. My mind doesnโt care for insight.ย














































Staring blankly at a fragmented ceiling, my heart screams from within me, nothing can console my rotten bones. So I lie here and stare at the fragments above me, and dream.

























Iโm resistant, consistent, relinquishing my thought. Not stable, the table collapses. Pointedโฆsharpโฆedgedโฆsoul crushingโฆdeath defyingโฆ
Sweet how your words sink
Down the drain Into my heart
Should of known from the start
That when it comes to a depart
ย You will not be my missing linkย

































When I find out I wasted all this time planning the perfect crime, itโs fine, everything can roll over me like the car tires that scatter the gravel on the road. Should we believe everything weโre told, not sure, probably not. It seems to smother me, but at the same time, I love it.



Iโm too tired to keep up with my hope, itโs exhausting. Iโve been waiting for you to show me whatโs been taking so long to complete.

Iโll pretend Iโm not one of habit when my habits are causing me detriment. Iโll stay awake and crash the next night, and sleep enough for two days. Itโs not that Iโm bad, well not too bad anyways, I just get lost sometimes.


I bet you feel the cold oh so easily. Can you focus, or do you lose attention oh so easily. Does it feel the same, or can you forget oh so easily. I donโt know if to hold you dearly, or to let you go oh so easily. I keep searching but the answers donโt come so easily.ย



Sometimes I stare at the sky to find a cloud that speaks to me loud. Wondering through the faces, leaving steep traces. People are watching, people are reading the thoughts that read through the spaces of my mind. I donโt want to do normal people things, they say I have no motivation, yeah I guess thatโs true. I wish I could just be left to simmer and wait till this life is done.















Itโs better to be gutless, guts get you hurt.




I’m gonna have to let you go for good































I sometimes google what you mean. The results of my analysis of the words prove to send me more confused. I over think things, and people may not read this but I donโt want things to be unpleasant between me and you. Iโm confused, Iโm always looking for answers, but Iโm worried Iโm looking where there isnโtย any, but maybe no message is a message.ย
I feel butterflies in my stomach sink, I see butterflies in hot pink.
Itโs just a cheap trick, fluttering till Iโm sick.
How am I surviving on such bad instinct ?
Forever is a really long time, to feel as though youโve committed a crime.
I never think before I relinquish my pain. It always leaves a stain on you.
I keep reminding myself itโs all in my head, because itโs just easier that way.
Like how I hear people chatting in my ears, or how I see images on the walls.
Itโs not real.



I shouldn’t of done what I did
















I worry Iโll see someoneโs reflection behind me in the window. I made a wish as I blew out the candles, I have a feeling my wish came true.
Different is good





Pretty sure the doctors have a hypochondriac registry, to warn other drs of incoming hypochondriacs. Iโll be there literally on death row, and they donโt take me seriously, they say you have a mild headache or something. Srsly Iโm totally not a hypochondriacโฆlol ๐คทโโ๏ธ

















Youโre just trying to rekindle the looks of your youth. I donโt want to obsess over things I donโt have time for. Watching the sea crush the sand, we need another plan.ย









All my visions, they just appear. Dripping along the typed paragraph, all my expectations disappear. Seeping through the skin, the scars reappear. Making it so damningly clear, that thereโs so obviously still fear.






Itโd be nice if you could just have a little bit of mania, but it doesnโt work that way, it always escalates. Stay on your mood stabilisers!!



Wish I could ditch the mood stabilisers, but keep the antidepressantsโฆjust for a little bit till my mood lifts.ย


You runaway. Itโs never gonna matter, because youโre never gonna forget her. They say everything happens different through the seasons. All your dreams revolve around, all your fears crash around. So slow, I look for silver rings, hoping I donโt find any. But one day I will.













You canโt pin me and try to preserve me like those butterflies locked in a frame
– Butterfly
And Iโm like I give up, a glimpse, a fool. Iโm lost within, I have no control over myself. My tears roll, my voice yells. A prank forgotten about. No desire left in my doubt.


I wanna know





And I’m ashamed of running away
From nothing real
I just can’t deal with this
I’m still afraid to be there
Among the hounds of love
And feel your arms surround me
I’ve always been a coward
And never know what’s good for me
Oh, here I go, don’t let me go






















My mood changes every few days, today itโs glowing like the sunny day it is. I didnโt feel sad yesterday and today like I did the days before. I was motivated to exercise, I get these bouts of motivation, Then I have a week where I canโt do anything. Itโs like Iโm trapped in a never ending tunnel of depression, thereโs no light, but then all of a sudden I feel ecstatic, excited, but the cycle repeats and Iโm sad again.









Watch her become undone
Future self I see, and I donโt like her. She speaks and then she shocks with her words. sheโs clever, uneasy, and super breezy. Sheโs quiet in company, sometimes her mind yells voices too loud and too soon. I ask How far ahead are you? Sheโs older, and bolder but sheโs not me, just some random lady I happened to pass by.
































Wake up in the morning to a dramatic exit. Systematic stand still rock n rolling control stares slip through. Iโd like to hear about your day, I kinda freaked out, I find your intensity overwhelming. I feel confused, reality is blurred with fantasy. I had to get away because I fear Iโm unwell.ย


Itโs The moment she realised she had no space. Her words were hopeless, been watching. They ravish on the bones of the skeletons, theyโre watching. She has no space. She wants to be free, she doesnโt want to think about it. She wants to be free from your sight not to see.


I sometimes donโt know how to communicate that well. They said I could leave, then they said I had to stay, so I ran away. I thought because of that I was a flyer not a fighter, but now I see my fight or flight response react in the opposite direction.



The visuals of the eyes, they look straight through my mind into my soul and then escape in laser beams through my heart. Crying tears of cotton candy and activated charcoal.



I tried to say but I think the message came through the wrong way. I tried to scream, but it was only in my mind. I hope you donโt mind me asking why?
Today my brain is talking, itโs not me, he just talks every once in a while.
Iโm needing the connection that you can give me, the connect of a time lost in a basket of damaged trust.








Always scared Iโm getting lost in my own mucked up mind. If you lie itโs supposed to become my truth, because your well mind is more reliable than my sick mind. Iโm done with the ect, I donโt want to go back to hospital, I donโt want to be around you any longer.
But I canโt let go.















Not into dating the kinda guy who becomes a vegetarian just because their girlfriend is a vegetarian.


















– โProvidenceโ Jack Frost

























